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Learn what might be holding you back!

amanda5367

What has helped you get to where you are in your career will most likely hinder you at some point.



Really?


Let me explain…


It feels good when someone catches us doing something right, doesn’t it?


That bit of praise which boosts our confidence, or that positive feedback which makes us feel appreciated usually sticks in our memories. Throughout our careers we get recognised for the skills and behaviours that others notice and value. Yet, apparently, it takes seven pieces of praise to offset one piece of criticism! So praise really is precious and noteworthy.


Another phrase that struck me is, “what gets praised, gets repeated”. This is something which is useful for new managers to pick up if they are trying to encourage particular ways of working or to increase the confidence of a member of their team. However, that can back fire too. Ever laughed in the moment at something rude a child does, only to have to stop them doing it again at every embarrassing moment?


It’s the same in work. I was praised early on for never taking time off, always being present, always arriving first and leaving last. Sounds like a wonderful quality in an employee doesn’t it? But when I became a boss – even as an experienced leader later on in my career – this quality, which had helped me to become noticed, became a massive hindrance. I would say to people that they deserved their holidays to be undisturbed, that they should go home at a reasonable time and switch on their out of office. But I didn’t. It took a very brave member of my team to highlight that what I was doing rather than what I was saying was setting the tone for the business – creating a pressured work culture. My “presenteeism” had become a hindrance and I had got so entrenched in believing that I should always set an example and shouldn’t be seen to be putting upon my staff, that I had lost sight of the impact I was having.


I changed my behaviour.


In my coaching work I come across this idea all the time. What has helped you get to where you are may at some point become a hindrance. Consider the person who has always been warm and approachable. Being the “go to” person when people needed support was appealing…what gets praised gets repeated! Then that person gets to a point where they felt they were not taken seriously, they were a “soft touch”. They struggled with or avoided difficult conversations about performance. So, we worked on understanding assertiveness vs being aggressive. We looked at ways to say “no” whilst emphasising that you are not rejecting the person, you are just refusing the request. It took a little time for the person to become comfortable, but the rewards of renewed respect helped develop these new “muscles”.


The great news is that these things go in cycles. Once we realise that we may believe something, or that behaving in a certain way is not serving us well any more – we can choose to do something about it. It takes a shift in perspective. Our perceived strengths may have been reinforced over years.


So what has helped you get to where you are (and is it is becoming a hindrance yet)?


If you can’t answer that, I’m guessing you have a trusted colleague, friend or coach who may be able to gently enlighten you. Be brave and ask them…


Why not get in touch to have a free discovery chat about how 2B Brilliant could help you and your business to grow?

M 07818 425042



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